Heart ramblings...

Consistency. A good quality, right? We think highly of people who are consistent in life; they're dependable and disciplined. You can count on them to do what they say, because they've proven themselves in the past by their consistency. Yes, consistency is a good thing except...

...when it comes to the scale. Yep, you guessed it. Another week stuck at 168lbs. There seems to be an invisible brick wall in front of me, forcing my body to stay...consistent. And it seems that no matter what I do I can't break through this wall. It's confusing and frustrating, to say the least. When you're trying to lose weight, there's nothing more disheartening than stepping on the scale and seeing the same number as the previous week. It's like I worked a whole week for nothing! It stinks, because I'm doing the work and putting in the time and something isn't working. I'm doing something wrong; I just don't know what. Losing weight shouldn't be this hard. I shouldn't be stuck at the same weight since last July, give or take a pound. I must be doing something counter-productive.

It just doesn't add up. I've physically grown a lot stronger since last summer. I'm doing things now that were way beyond my level back then. I've pushed myself in so many areas and have changed a lot of things for the better since then. But the scale isn't showing that. And the hypothesis that "I must be gaining muscle" is growing quite flimsy now. I'm not gaining that much muscle, people! =) And muscle gained means more calories burned which means more weight loss. So that's where the theory falls apart.

I wish weight loss was a simple math formula. You know? "A" plus "B" will equal "C" every time. No guessing about it. If I (A) exercise and (B) eat healthy I will always get (C) weight loss. But, that's not how it works.

I'm running out of ideas. I thought that maybe if I dramatically cut my carb intake this past week that it might jolt me to hop back on track. I had carbs for breakfast only, which left me eating lots of salad and fruit throughout the rest of the day. Yes, even more than usual! Nice thought, but cutting the carbs didn't work. And I can't live like that anyway, so I'm secretly kind of glad. lol

My mom and I had a talk about this last night. We're stumped. (This is where a personal trainer would come in handy!) Mom's only thought was that I must be exercising too hard. (Sound familiar?) But I don't see how that could possibly be. Maybe I need to switch things up even more than I've already attempted to do, in regard to exercising. Am I too used to what I'm doing? I don't do the same thing every day, or even every week, so I don't know how that would help. *sigh*

I didn't mean for this post to be such a downer. I'm not throwing in the towel! I'm just honestly frustrated and confused. I'm tired of trying different things and seeing no results. I want answers! I want to keep moving forward! I want to reach my goal. I want to figure out the problem and do what it takes to fix it. I just don't know what my problem is - and it's driving me crazy!

But, God is good. And even if Bekah May is stuck at 168lbs for the rest of her life, God is still good. He is still worthy of praise and glory. He is still my King and I am still His child. He is still my Living Water and my Bread of Life. He is still the One I'm living for. No matter what.

I'm stuck, but I'm not surrendering to failure and defeat ~ Bekah