All Consuming...

In the past few weeks, I've been pondering the last two verses in Hebrews chapter 12 that read, "Therefore, let us be grateful for receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, and thus let us offer to God acceptable worship, with reverence and awe, for our God is a consuming fire". My thoughts drifted to that passage of Scripture, because the Lord has been challenging me (again!) to make Him the consuming passion of my life. I find it all to easy to go through the motions of living my normal life day to day with very little thought of Him, who He is and what He has done for me. That's not to say that I don't ever think of Him (because I do) but not in a consuming way. Actually, I spend a larger portion of time pondering what to eat during the day and how many calories I'm eating, what exercises I should do in my workouts, and how to burn more calories throughout the day.


Now, I don't think that it's necessarily wrong to think about those things. The Lord makes it very clear in Scripture that our bodies belong to Him (1 Cor. 6) and He wants me to take good care of them by eating healthy and being in good physical shape. But when you are trying to lose weight, it is all too easy to take "caring for my body" to an extreme. Especially when you get frustrated by not achieving the results that you want and have been told to expect.


So, I'm stuck in a position where I'm trying to reach a balance, a happy medium. I don't want to be like a pendulum, swinging back and forth between obsession and carelessness. Neither of those are pleasing to the Lord. And neither of them are a life that I want to live. I don't want to just "give up" and work on maintaining when I feel like I can (and should) lose more, but I also don't want to obsess and look for happiness in a number. My emotions should be controlled by the Spirit, not by what my eyes see. And that's true in every area of life!


So, what to do? How do I find this happy medium? How do I know when to push harder and when to back off? How will I ever find out the right amount of food to eat, the best way for me to exercise, and the motivation to keep pressing on when I seem to be spinning my wheels and getting nowhere?

You know, I love how simple God makes the answers to our problems. (And yet there are also times when I wish He would make it more complicated, because then I could get by with the excuse that His solutions are too hard!) But there are no excuses. Even this blonde can read His Word and understand exactly what He wants me to do.

First off, I need to stop comparing my body to others. It's that simple - just stop comparing! Stop feeding discontentment. I am a unique creation, and He has made me for one purpose, which is to glorify Him. And that has nothing to do with what size I wear or how long I can run! In order for Him to work through me, I need to get over this obsession with how I look, especially compared to others. I am blessed by remembering, "Charm is deceptive and beauty is vain. But a women who fear God is to be praised." Proverbs 31:30 There is such freedom when you care only how He views you! No other opinion matters...sounds too good to be true.

Secondly, I need to eat simply to fuel my body and not to "satisfy" any emotion or desire I might be experiencing. He is the Bread of Life. He is the Living Water. (John 6) He alone can satisfy any desire I have, and I need to turn to Him instead of food.

Thirdly, I need to do the work to be in good shape. I can't give up when things get hard or slack off because I don't feel like doing it. I want to be ready and able to serve Him in whatever He calls me to do. Being in good shape is not just about being a certain size or weight. It aids in keeping my body strong to fight against sickness or disease, which means I'll be around longer to serve Him! It boosts my emotions and gives me energy. Exercising has too many benefits to skip out on it!

Sounds easy enough to do, right? I mean, it's simple to understand. I like this quote, "The concept is grasped, but the execution is a little elusive." How true! I often grasp the truths of the Word but seem to fail in executing them in day to day life. I have a lot of head knowledge, and my constant prayer is that those truths would become heart knowledge. I don't want to miss what God is trying to teach me because I'm so focused on achieving an outward figure that will fade away someday. I'm searching Scripture to find the balance. And I know that He will make everything clear as I continue digging in!

Seeking to find ~ Bekah

Birthday Bash

These pictures are from my birthday last Thursday. It was a fun, exciting day! Dad bought me some beautiful flowers (as is the tradition in our family), Mom tried to burn down the house while making my birthday dinner (don't drape a towel over the dinner rolls rising on the back of the stove while the front burner is turned on!), Avalon made me a unique strawberry cake and she and Bethany helped me blow all 21 candles out, and I enjoyed eating the dark chocolate Mom bought me - instead of Avalon's cake (which didn't appeal to me at all anyway - I'm not a cake person.) It was a special day!

I haven't posted in almost a month. Partially because I haven't had time, and partially because I haven't had a lot of news to report. I'm still floating around in the low 180's. I've begun cutting some carb calories and replacing with protein calories in the past few days, which is hard for me to do! I wish it was the other way around. But I realized that I had been overloading in the carb catagory...my comfort food! So even though it hasn't been the easiest thing to cut, I'm doing okay.

And I'm a little frustrated right now, because the "magic key" that turns on our treadmill has disappeared in the past week. I've looked everywhere that I can think of, but it hasn't turned up yet. Because of that, I've been doing my DVD's more (which I actually prefer anyway) and spending more time doing weight training. Eesh! My poor muscles can tell. I had an interesting experience last week when I bought a t-shirt from Walmart. I brought it home, tried it on and discovered that the arm holes were a lot smaller than I thought they would be. In fact, my arm barely squeezed through them! Every other area fit perfectly. Hmmm....the only thing I can come up with is that my arm muscles are getting bigger and don't fit quite so well. I certainly haven't gained fat in my arms, so it has to be muscle! At least, that's what I'm choosing to believe. :-)

So, I'm cutting overall calories and specific carb calories and hoping for a better number this coming Friday. And I'm praying that we find the little key for the treadmill!

Blessings!

Bekah

Salad Dressing? Apple Bread?

Okay, everyone! I need your help. It's time for some "blog reader participation"! I'm wanting to find a yummy salad dressing recipe, and I haven't stumbled on a good one yet. The few that I've tried just don't taste right; the ingredients don't seem to blend together very well. So, do you have any great recipes to share with me? I really want to go "all natural" instead of buying the processed stuff from the store. Is there any way to make a homemade ranch dressing? Or honey mustard? Or am I limited to a balsamic vinaigrette? If you've got an answer, please post it!

Also, we just spent a fabulous day at an apple orchard and now I'm really wanting to make some apple bread. Does anyone have a yummy apple bread recipe?

Thanks all!

~Bekah

Hormones and tennis...

What? It's been almost a month since I last wrote on here? Unbelievable. How do I even begin to catch up? Guess I'll do my best.


First of all, thanks for your prayers for Penny. I've had several other conversations with her since that day at the gym and the more I hear of her story, the more I've been praying for her and Becky! My mom did meet with them at the library to discuss their options for schooling, and right now they haven't decided to change anything. But I'm praying for their salvation most importantly. Homeschooling isn't the answer. Jesus is the answer! One of the main things that the Lord has taught me through this experience is that I need to continually be focusing on Christ in everything. My plan was to go to the gym and have an intense workout. His plan was for me to minister His love to a stranger. And that's happened several times now! I need to be prepared for those moments when my plan gets shoved out of the way so that I can walk in what He wants me to be doing. I mean, in the light of eternity - does it really matter if I got a good workout that day? Not really. Even if it comes back to bite me on the scale, so be it. What's more important is that I'm walking in the Spirit in every area of my life. Yes, especially in regard to my plans. "My ways are not your ways, and my thoughts are not your thoughts." So true! I don't want to miss an opportunity that the Lord drops into my lap just because I'm so focused on myself and what I want to do. (Or don't want to do, in the case of exercising. lol)


And then, on to my weight. I was super excited when I saw that I'd lost 2 pounds a few weeks ago! And then rather disappointed when I repeated the same thing the next week only to find that I gained them back. This past week, I had a little success when I lost one of the pounds that I'd gained. Yikes! It's such a roller-coaster. Sometimes makes me just want to scream! Anybody know a personal trainer who doesn't charge for training? :-) lol

Actually, I'm beginning to read a book about having balanced hormones right now. (No, I'm not going through menopause!!) The whole premise of the book is that if your hormones are balanced, it will be much easier to drop excess weight and maintain a healthy weight. The thing that caught my attention about this book was that lots of people wrote reviews and said that they seemed to have the "stuck scale syndrome" - where it didn't seem to matter how little they ate or how much they exercised, the scale didn't budge very much. (Sound familiar?) And after following the advice of this book, the were able to drop the weight. So, I'm intrigued. Haven't read very far yet, but it seems that it will have some good information. Honestly, I just love reading books and gaining knowledge about how God designed out bodies to work. Even if it is a secular author writing, the information I read makes me praise God for His creativity!

Soooo, that's about it right now. Except that I've had a strong desire to learn how to play tennis recently. It just looks fun! But I think it's past the prime season for tennis playing. Maybe next year...:-)

Have you noticed how beautiful the weather is this afternoon? Go take a walk! You'll love it. Happy Fall!

Love,
Bekah

A Different Day In the Gym...

I was on the treadmill, walking at about 3 mph to warm up before I got started on my run. There were two other ladies in the gym with me this morning, and they were chatting away about the weather while riding the stationary bikes. I was trying to focus on the task ahead (namely, running) and doing my best to ignore the TV on the wall in front of me that was blasting "Live with Regis and Kelly". (I don't even know why they turned the TV on, because they never once looked up to watch it!)

After they had spent a few minutes talking, one of the ladies (Penny) turned to me and asked, "So, how are you doing today, dear?". I replied that I was doing well, then asked about her. She said she was doing okay, and I kind of assumed the conversation would end there. I was about to hit the button to speed up the treadmill when Penny asked me, "Hey, do you have a job?". Ugh, I hate that question. Mostly because when I tell people "no" and then also answer their next question ("So are you in college?") with a "no", they usually give me a funny look and write me off as some unproductive member of society. :-)

So, this morning I explained to Penny that I didn't have a traditional job, but that I was going to be teaching a class for home schooled girls. She was very intrigued by that and then asked me a loaded question. Penny said, "Home schooling? Yes, I've heard of that. How exactly does that work?". Okay, I can forget about running for awhile, I thought to myself. I attempted to give her a brief answer about home schooling and how it works, but I quickly figured out that Penny was so interested because she's been having a lot of trouble with her 15 year old daughter (Becky) and she needs help. She explained to me that Becky is very smart, but that she doesn't like all of the rules and "unflexibility" of school. She's not a morning person and is often late for school. She is very artistic but doesn't feel like she's getting to use those talents and has become bored with school. Basically, Penny is very frustrated with Becky. She wants her to get a good education and to actually get a diploma (she is concerned that Becky will drop out of school when she turns 16 because of how bored and frustrated she is with school).

As I listened to Penny talk, I could tell that there were a lot of issues that ran much deeper than school. After talking with her and explaining all of the different options that homeschooling offers, Penny remarked that she has been looking for some hope and that she thinks she's found it now. I gave her our home phone number and encouraged her to call and talk to my mom for more information.

After that 20 minute conversation, I continued with my running and made a mental note to make sure and tell Mom that she should be expecting a call in the next few days. That was at 8:30 this morning. When I returned home at 10:30, I said to my Mom, "Hey, you might be getting a phone call from a lady named Penny..." and at that point my Mom interrupted and said, "Yeah, she already called!". That was a lot faster than I had anticipated! I didn't even have time to give my mom any warning. Anyway, my mom will be meeting with Penny on Thursday to discuss the options that they have, and I'm also praying that she'll be able to share with Penny about the Giver of Eternal Hope, our Lord Jesus Christ! Penny mentioned to my Mom on the phone that she was raised in a VERY disfunctional, legalistic "Christian" home and she didn't want that for her daughter. She's also a single mom, which makes things challenging for her.

So, would you join me in praying for Penny and Becky? Now that we've talked, I feel like we have more of a relationship and I want to begin asking her about her spiritual beliefs, but I want the Lord's wisdom in what to say to someone who has been offended and turned off to "Christianity" because of her experiences. I'm also praying for wisdom for my mom as she meets with her on Thursday.

This morning didn't turn out like I was expecting it to. It definitely wasn't a typical day at the gym! But the Lord is teaching me that He wants me to be available to follow His leading wherever I am and whatever I'm doing. Even if people do ask me if I have a job...:-)

Blessings!
Bekah

A Verdict? Well, Not Quite.

I've managed to eat dairy free for two and a half weeks now. Woohoo! I've stuck with it. Honestly, the first week was rough. Though I know it's not true, it seemed like everything in the world had dairy in it! And sometimes it was trace amounts, but dairy nonetheless. Live I've mentioned before, I'm not a big "meat eater" and now that I'm not eating dairy I'm noticing how my choices for protein are becoming rather limited. This girl can only eat so many nuts and chicken! (Did I mention that I don't really care for fish, either?)

Oh, and I realized that I never mentioned that I did weigh in on the morning after I returned from the Bright Lights conferences (it was a Wednesday morning). I was super excited! I only gained two pounds on the trip. Hurray! I met my goal and kept the damage low. :-) Because of that special Wednesday weigh in, I didn't weigh in again until this Friday.

This Friday, I weighed in at 181 pounds....only one pound lost in 9 days. Hmmm...maybe I don't have a dairy problem. (Which would be super! I miss my dairy products.) But I'm not going to throw the towel in just yet. I've decided to give it a month, and if I don't see an drastic changes in that time, then I'll slowly add dairy back into my diet. I guess that I was expecting something drastic to happen - like significant weight loss or feeling more energy and healthy, but I haven't had either of those. Any thoughts or suggestions from those of you who don't eat dairy? Am I missing something?

But through these past few weeks, I feel like the Lord has been reminding me again of the importance to delight in the little things. Like the fact that I only gained a few pounds while away from home, that I can stick to a drastic diet change (no dairy) for a few weeks, and also the one pound lost. Those are things that I've accomplished through the help of the Holy Spirit, and I should not focus on what I haven't done (need to lose more, need to do better) but on what I have done and what God is calling me to do today. Because if I'm so focused on that fact that I failed (which is what my mind is telling me) then I'm going to miss everything that the Lord is trying to tell me in the moment of my need, and I'll rely on my flesh to do what's right - and that never works!

So, I'm going to stay off of dairy for almost 2 more weeks and see what happens. Who knows? Maybe I need to practice a little patience while waiting to see any results. If nothing else, it's been a huge lesson in self-control!

Joyfully,
Bekah

Start young...

As I was making my salad wrap for lunch today, Bethany walked in the kitchen and said that she wanted a salad, too. I'm always very happy when she requests healthy food, and I quickly made up a cute little salad for her. I've been pretty successful in getting her to eat almost anything (in fact, she's the one who really likes the smoothies that I make!) and at 3 years old, she basically wants to eat whatever her older sisters are eating!

So, we sat down and ate our salads. Everything was great, until she noticed that I had a whole wheat soft tortilla shell and she did not. She also noticed that I had hummus, which I had tried to hide from her. Rats! When it comes to my healthy food, I get very protective. :-) I frequently remind my family that there are only certain things in our house that I can eat, while they are free to eat whatever they want. So, back away from my food! I'm kind of like a chipmunk or a squirrel...I stock pile and hide it. In fact, I have a whole shelf in our pantry to myself - and everybody knows not to touch anything without asking! That is where I store my cereal and crackers, natural peanut butter and Kashi granol bars. I suppose that it's not very spiritually mature of me to be such a hog...but this is about survival!!! lol

Anyway, Bethany told me that she wanted a tortilla like mine...and some hummus, too. So, being the older and more mature of the two of us, I graciously went and grabbed half of a tortilla and spread some hummus on it for her. (The tortillas are the expensive Ezekiel 4:9 kind, so I wasn't going to give her a whole thing only to find out she wasn't hungry enough to eat it all - that would be such a waste!) She quickly devoured that half (which surprised me) and then wanted more. Have you all ever read the book, "If you give a mouse a cookie..."? Yeah, well this was turning out just like that book. I was scared that she wouldn't stop! Soon, she would demand not just my tortillas and hummus, but my peanut butter, my fruits and veggies, and...dare I even say it? My cereal!!!

But thankfully, her little tummy was full after consuming a whole tortilla and some hummus. I was saved!

Here is a picture I took of her eating her tortilla. I'm doing my best to get her to love fruits and veggies just as much as me. Just not my tortillas...