Back again!

No! Not again! I'm so behind that I don't even know where to begin. I guess I'll very quickly give a recap and then get caught up to recent happenings.


After having a week where the scale stood still, I really pushed hard the following week. I gave it 100% in the gym; I counted my calories. I was disciplined. I was focused. I wanted success! I was expecting to see that I'd lost a pound or even two when I got on the scale that Friday morning. But I didn't get it. The scale didn't budge. I was stuck at 176 again. Refusing to feel defeated, I simply focused on the other victories I'd gained that week. I felt energetic and strong. I had remained disciplined throughout the whole week and didn't have any regrets. It was a good week, whether the scale was my friend or not.


The following Monday, my family headed to the Twin Cities. While the rest of my family spent the week with our relatives up there, I jumped on a plane bound for Denver, Colorado to spend a week with my dear friend, Stephanie (and her wonderful family!). We had a fabulous time together! I immensely enjoyed being there for her high school graduation ceremony and party. It was a trip that I'll always cherish in my memories. With everything going on, exercise was out of the question, and I knew that would be the case before going. To be honest, I actually enjoyed the break. It was nice to not have to worry about it. But when I got back home, I was right back with the program!


Stephanie and I went to 6 graduation parties in two days, which made for eating more than we normally would. We kept looking at each other and thinking, "Good thing graduation parties only come once a year!". With the lack of exercise and higher calorie intake, I knew that I would gain a few pounds. It was going to happen, and I didn't get all wound up or stressed about it. What comes on will come off with enough work and sweat!


I weighed myself when I got home and had the attitude of, "What's the damage this time?". Came out to be 4 pounds of damage, so I'm back up to 180lbs. My work is clearly cut out for me. This morning, I was back in the gym for the first time in almost 2 weeks. It felt SO good! However, I felt rather pathetic. What was once relatively easy felt unusually difficult today. I'm going to work to get back to where I was, and then I'll keep pushing forward.

When I pulled out my bucket of "spring/summer clothes" a few weeks ago, I thought it would be fun. I was tired of my winter clothes and was ready for the bright colors and fun patterns of spring! But I found that as I was pulling shirts, shorts, skirts, and Capri out of the bucket and trying them on, it wasn't as fun as I expected it to be. I had to fight thoughts of failure and discouragement as I stood in front of the mirror, modeling my new wardrobe. "You've made absolutely no progress in a year! Look at you. Those clothes fit you the same they did last year. In fact, aren't you up a few pounds then you were a year ago? Well, just face it. You're stuck here at this weight and size. You might as well accept it and stop pushing so hard for what you can't achieve."

I'll be honest - it was hard. I was having a power struggle in my mind. Would I focus on the negative or the positive? Would I succumb to a pity party or would I choose to keep my eyes focused on Jesus?

It's at times like those that I have to remind myself of the goal here. It's not to be a size 4, to run a marathon, or to get compliments everywhere I go. My ultimate goal is Christ-likeness. That's why I'm doing this! I want Christ to be Lord of every area of my life, so that He can freely shine through me. This life I live is not my own - it's His. May I keep that truth in the front of my mind all day long!

More soon ~ Bekah