Not discouraged...

Remember how I said that I might have to just "get over" whatever number came up on the scale? Well, I kinda did this morning. I weighed in at 168lbs -up two pounds from last week. Now, I don't believe that I gained two pounds of fat simply because I ate too much on one day! I'm sure that the extra calories contributed to this slight gain, but I'm hoping that I'm also gaining some muscle weight, because I've been doing all of these muscle strengthening exercises for the past few weeks.

It's never fun to see a gain on the scale. It's hard to stand there and see the number and not feel discouraged. That's when I have the hardest time refuting thoughts that start circling in my head. You gained weight. Gained, not lost. You worked so hard last week and this is what you get? Remember how many mornings you crawled out of bed earlier than usual and exercised? Is it really worth it? How long is this going to take you? Do you really want to be fighting and struggling for the rest of your life?...What are people going to think of you? So much for your testimony...you can't seem to lose these last few pounds!


Doubts. Fears. Discouragement. Frustration. Regret. Those feelings all seem to come to the surface on the weigh in days that are less than what I'd hoped for. Sometimes I feel like banging my head against the wall and shouting, "What am I doing wrong? Why isn't this working? Am I ever going to reach my goal?".

But the Lord has been so faithful to teach me that life isn't all about my weight! And there is such freedom that comes when you transfer that knowledge from your head to your heart, when you truly believe it. The world will not come to a screeching halt simply because the scale was not my friend this week. (Aren't you all happy about that?) God's love will not change; I'm not any less of His child because I didn't lose weight. I will continue exercising and eating healthy for the rest of my life, whether I lose another pound or not. And that's because the Lord has changed my mind and my way of thinking, and He is continuing to change me. Transformation is a process. Caterpillars don't become butterflys overnight, and I certainly can't change overnight either. Neither can you! (So nice to know we're all in the same boat, huh?) I thought one way for eighteen years before Jesus got my attention and pointed out how wrong I was, so we both knew this wasn't going to be a sprint to the finish line - it's more like a jog, or a walk, or sometimes a crawl. :-)

Anyway, I'm enjoying the journey. I mean, I can't really struggle with pride if I keep gaining weight, ya know. (Ha!) I had a great time with Jesus while on the treadmill this morning, and I know some of you can't understand this, but I was jogging and running and walking on there for almost an hour and it was fun! I didn't want to stop. It was great!

So my mindset today is this: If I'm having fun exercising and I'm enjoying my healthy food - who cares what the dumb scale says? I'd rather be happy while making healthy choices for my body but occasionally having "hiccups" in my weight than feeling grumpy and deprived while following some bogus and not-so-healthy-diet yet losing weight (which is usually water or lean tissue weight, not fat weight). Make sense?

Rejoice in the Lord always (no matter what your scale says) and again I say, "Rejoice!" ~Bekah