Broken but Believing...

This week has been a little crazy. With Rachel in Dallas and Hannah and Leah in Kansas City, Mom and I have been taking care of Avalon and Bethany and trying to keep the house in order at the same time. It's not easy! :-)

But, yesterday was Friday, so whether I felt prepared or not, it was time to step on the scale. As I mentioned earlier, I was not looking forward to it. This past week I've been faithfully exercising, but my eating was a little rough this week (I didn't "jump ship", I just leaned a little too far overboard sometimes), and I knew that I'd gained back a few pounds from my two weeks of vacation. So, what would that awful scale tell me? Oh, girls. I didn't want to know! And yet, at the same time, I was curious. I remembered that at my last official weigh in I weighed 171 pounds, so I took a deep breath, and stepped on to see what damage I had done in about 3 weeks.

I peeked my eyes open, hoping to find that I was totally mistaken about feeling like I'd gained weight, only to find the sad truth. The scale read 177 pounds. Ouch. That hit home hard, girls. I'd managed to gain 6 pounds back in a little over 3 weeks! Now, some of that could be gained muscle or water weight. But, as I don't know for sure, I'm not using that as an excuse. So, I stood in the bathroom and had another "learning moment". It kinda hit me again yesterday morning - whenever I had decided to indulge my flesh these past few weeks, this was the price I paid for it. Gained weight. I basically pushed myself back 6 more weeks from reaching my ultimate goal, as I'm usually able to lose a pound a week. Was it worth it? Was the indulgence worth it? Definitely not. It seemed like it at the time, but not after stepping on that scale. Let me tell you girls - no pizza, chocolate, chips, pasta, or anything else tastes as good as standing on the scale and losing another pound or looking in the mirror and seeing your body shrink and your muscles toned. IT REALLY DOESN'T!!! And I know that, so why did I give in? We all know the answer to that. Why do any of us give in? Because we give into the "here and now" mentality and don't control our flesh. Such a simple answer...why does it have to be so hard to apply the truth?

Now, after having my "learning moment" in the bathroom, I realized that I was stuck with 2 choices. I could either become frustrated and depressed and decide to throw in the towel and believe the lies that "it's too hard", "it's not really worth it", "you knew you'd never really be able to do it", etc. That would be the easiest thing to do. It takes no work, no commitment, no time, no accountability, no struggle, no calorie counting, no daily exercising, no sweating, no painful muscles, no saying "no" to food, no growth.
Or, I could raise my head back up, claim the truth of God's Word that says "I can do ALL things through Christ", and keep moving forward. Yes, I stumbled. Yes, I fell down. That stinks. It's not fun. It's humbling. But you know what I love? With God, I don't have to stay there. That's not the end of the story. I don't have to stay beaten down! By His grace, He has lifted me up. He's grabbed my hand and said, "What are you waiting for? Let's go!". I love the verse in Psalm 40 that says He has "lifted me up from the miry clay and set my feet upon the rock". I've brushed myself off, and I'm walking again, hand and hand with Jesus.

Have you been struggling with something, too? Are you feeling beaten down in some area? Does the path seem hard? Harder than usual? Are lies swimming around in your head? Are you battling doubts and fears?

Take courage, my friend! Lift up your head! I think it's so fitting that after the Lord tells us to "lay aside every weight", He goes on in the next verse to say, "Fix your eyes on Jesus". That's the key, daughter of the King. We must re-focus! Because let me tell you, I've never once given into temptation while thinking about Jesus and singing praises to Him. It just doesn't happen! When I submit to Him and let Him take control of my life, (Yes, even my eating habits. Why not?) He imparts to me the strength to stand and the grace to find joy in this journey.

Ah! Look at the time! I have a date with my Norditrack, so I'll have to leave you with this thought. Nothing new, nothing profound, but if we really believe it, it will change our lives. Christ abundantly satisfies.

Keep those recipes and ideas coming! Thankful for His grace ~ Bekah