A busy start to this summer...

Another week has flown by! As I was mentally preparing myself for this past week, I knew that it wasn't going to be a weight loss week. Don't get me wrong - I wasn't planning to pig out all week! I just knew that I wouldn't be able to exercise every day, and it was going to be nearly impossible to eat just like I do at home. Frantic planning and preparing, flexible (yet jam packed!) and ever changing schedules, and nights with very little sleep are characteristic of conference weeks for me, and this time was no different. All those things are obstacles to losing weight, and I just prepared myself to do everything in my power to strict to my eating habits and try to get as much exercise as possible.

It quickly became apparent to me that I wouldn't be using the exercise clothes I'd brought. I got to bed about midnight every night (not because we were goofing off - we were working!), and I was up between 5 and 5:30am. I was really tired! I decided that those few precious hours of sleep were more important than getting up at 4:00am to exercise. No regrets there! I did a lot of walking around the church in our week there, but nothing too strenuous.

And in the eating category, I had my good days and bad. I was able to resist sometimes, but I also can remember specific times when I didn't need to eat and chose to anyway. I found myself really tempted to grab for something to snack on when I'd get stressed or times when I was kinda bored, so I tried to guard against that. Again, it wasn't a perfect week, and there are things I regret - times when I ate too much or just simply gave into what my flesh wanted. It was easy to fall into the mindset that this was a week focused on ministry, not on myself, and use that to justify my actions. I'm still learning!

To make things even more crazy around here, we're leaving to visit our relatives in the Twin Cities area tomorrow morning. We'll be spending a week up there, but this will be no vacation for my flesh. :-) I had quite the workout this afternoon after not doing anything for a week. Yikes! That wasn't pretty. I finished my circuit training and just laid down on the floor for a few minutes, simply exhausted. So yes, my weights are coming with me on this trip!

I have yet to pack for this trip, and I'm trying to catch up on sleep, so this is all the time I have right now. I hope to be able to post more this week, but we'll see. Thank you for all of your prayers! Love, Bekah

Foiled plan...

I had it all figured out. Well, at least I thought I did. If you would have had the opportunity to hear my thoughts on Friday night, this is what you would have heard.

Wait a minute! You need some background info. I had weighed myself in the morning, and was excited that I had lost another pound. Yes! A "mountain top" experience. Sweet satisfaction that all my hard work had paid off. That put a smile on my face and a bounce in my step! But, I should have known. I should have been prepared. I should have been ready to fight. For you see, "the cycle" continued, like it always does. I didn't stay up on my mountain for very long. Unfortunately, it didn't take long for me to get distracted with success and take my eyes off the goal.

It was about 8:00pm. We'd eaten supper about 2 hours ago, but I was feeling a snacky mood coming on! My thoughts were running wild.

Flesh: Whine! Whine! Whine! I'm hungry. Feed me! Just something small......it doesn't have to be much. A handful of Cheerios? Raisins? Nuts? I'm not asking for anything bad like chips or chocolate. I just want something. You deserve it! You worked so hard this week. Come on! Sneak out into the mudroom...........that's right.........go for the Cheerios!

Spirit: Whoa! What do you think you're doing? You already ate your calorie allotment for the day, and you're not supposed to eat at night. You don't need it. Don't give in! Choose to walk out of the room right now!

Flesh: No! Come on. Eat the Cheerios. It's not going to effect anything. You're not going to mess up anything by just eating a little bit - but it will make you feel happy! *Bekah grabs a handful of Cheerios and munches* There you go. Hey! That's yummy! Eat some more. Yep. Pretty tasty aren't they? Told ya! *Bekah takes several more handfuls and continues to munch.

Spirit: Stop it, Bekah! HELLO??? This is totally giving into your flesh, and you know it. Walk away now! Read that verse you have posted right in front of you. It says to put to death your sinful nature - not pacify it. Get your hand out of the container!

Flesh: Mmm! Hey, I'm getting tired of Cheerios. Can we try something else? They aren't quite sweet enough. I want something sweeter. I mean, what's it going to hurt? How about those raisins? Yeah, those look good. Put your hand in the container.....that's right......SHHHH! Quiet! Do you want them to hear you? Yum. Those are tasty. Keep 'em coming!

Spirit: BEKAH!!! Think about what you're doing! Get out now.

And so, after eating several handfuls of Cheerios and raisins, I finally decided to stop. I wouldn't want my family to get suspicious about why I was hanging out in the pantry for so long. I thought I'd pacified my flesh and had convinced myself that I hadn't really done anything wrong. But, no. It only got worse...

Bethany had a nighttime snack of popcorn, and though I'm usually able to resist the temptation to sneak a few bites, I gave right in. While the eyes of my family members were looking away, I'd throw a few pieces in my mouth. I mean, I'd already had Cheerios and raisins. Why not popcorn, too? (Can you say "lie"?)

We decided to finish a movie we'd started several nights ago, so several of my family members decided to have a bowl of ice cream while watching it. Did the ice cream tempt me? It looked really good, but I wasn't seriously thinking about eating it. My family would definitely hold me accountable! :-)

But, I was making more plans. My flesh wasn't pacified-it was awakened! I spent several minutes thinking through my plan of action. Here's what I was thinking...

Flesh: Do you remember how good those snacks tasted? Well, I do. AND I WANT MORE!!! So, here's what we're going to do. You are going to stay up until most of your parents goes to bed, and then when the coast is clear, sneak into the pantry again. Hannah and Leah will likely go up to their room after the movie, and Rachel will jump into the shower. And then, we can eat whatever I want to! Nobody will be around to see or hear you. It's perfect. I'm such a genius!

I ignored the protests of the Spirit (which were really starting to bug me!) and decided to follow my flesh. Things went just like I'd (or shall I say, my flesh) planned. It was all working out well. My parents and younger sisters had gone upstairs. After all, it was 10:45pm. And I should have, too. But, no! I was just waiting for Rachel to jump in the shower so I could do some serious snacking. She was reading a book at the kitchen table (in the direct path to the pantry) so I sat down at the computer and tried to think of something I could work on that was a legitimate reason for staying up any later. I clicked around, reading various emails and blogs while waiting...and waiting...and waiting. Good grief! It's 11:00pm. What is she reading that is so interesting? I just want a few bites of something before bed.

Bekah. What are you doing, my child? Uh, Lord? Is that you? Yes, it's me. You don't need that food; it doesn't satisfy. Come to me! Be obedient to my Spirit and resist your sinful nature. But, Lord! It won't really matter. I just want a little something. I've been really good this week, you know... Do you want to be free, Bekah? Because you're not walking in freedom by giving in to temptation. Trust me. I've given you the strength to turn away. I paid my life's blood so that you can be free. Walk away! Go to bed! I am the only One who will truly satisfy.

I wish I could write that I immediately jumped out of my chair and walked upstairs. But, that's not how it happened. I sat there and struggled for another 5 minutes. Part of the time, I was upset at myself for even snacking in the first place. Then I was mad at Rachel for not getting into the shower! I felt guilty and ashamed for not walking in the Spirit. And my flesh was wanting more!

So, what did I do? By the grace of God, and ONLY by the grace of God, I slowly got out of the chair, said "goodnight" to Rachel, took a deep breath, and walked up the stairs to my room. Girls, my feet felt like lead. My flesh was screaming! I went in the room, shut the door, and began praying. I had a time of confession before the Lord and asked for His forgiveness and grace. Oh, when will I ever learn??? How many times have I done things like this before? I don't know that I'll ever be able to fully understand His grace. It's so amazing. And then, I just poured out my heart to Him. My thoughts and fears, lies I'd believed, words of praise and thanksgiving all came tumbling out at once. But, I think He understood. I know He did. I finally laid down in my bed, grateful to be lying there unashamed. I had been washed clean. My slate was clear. And, I was ready to get some rest before starting another day simply leaning on the strong arms of my Savior.

I really didn't want to post this, but I hope it encourages somebody. I'm not perfect; nobody is. I've made plenty of mistakes, and there have been many times when I didn't turn away, times when I followed through with "my plan". That's why I'm so thankful for the grace of God - grace to cover my sins and grace to give me the strength to resist temptation. And His grace is available to you, too. Praise His Name!


Whoa! That was long. Time for bed! I leave tomorrow for MN to help with 2 Bright Lights conference, and I won't be back until next Sunday night. Have a great week! ~Bekah

Fabulous Friday...

I only have time to write this morning and say that I've lost another pound. YES!!! Down to 171 pounds. God is faithful! Love, Bekah

A Simple Invitation...

This week has finally felt like summer. The weather has been sunny and warm - perfect for getting a nice tan and working up a sweat while exercising. I know, I know. I used to be a "girly-girl", too. Sweating used to disgust and annoy me. (Don't even get me started about locker rooms!) I used to wish that I had my own personal air-conditioner that was built into my body. I HATED those summer days where you walk out the door and immediately start sweating from the humidity. I mean, sweating was part of God's curse on mankind! (Genesis 3:19)

I don't necessarily enjoy getting sweaty, but it's a good indication that I'm working hard enough. Plus, it rids my body of toxins which is another bonus! Ever since eating healthy, drinking lots of water, and exercising regularly (sweating), I've had almost no problems with acne. I never struggled with it as much as others, but now it's rare for me to find a pimple. Whoohoo! So, pitch the creams and try to go natural for awhile!

I just came in from my "Last Chance Workout". (It's my last chance before the weigh in tomorrow! Not that I'm thinking about that...*smile*) To be honest, I haven't really felt like exercising this week. It's not like I was thinking about skipping it, but I didn't really look forward to it like I have in the past. So I began every workout with a simple prayer that God would give me His strength and joy as I work to glorify Him in my body. What a difference that made! I'd start out dreading the sweating, the paining muscles, and the "uncomfortableness" of it all, and I'd end up with a smile on my face. Let me tell you girls, that was Jesus! All He needed was an invitation.

You see, my attitude totally changed simply by inviting Him into my workout time. I didn't say anything "magical" or "super spiritual". It was simple. Just an invitation to join this child of His in my every day, boring, and repetitive exercise time. I don't think anyone else would want to join me. (I'm quite a sight!) Not anyone that is, except for my dear Abba. He was waiting, longing to be invited! He delights in us. He created us for fellowship with Him. Yes, even fellowship while exercising.

"In His presence is fullness of joy..." How true! I could enjoy exercising when I viewed it as time spend with my King, not just a time to sweat and utter odd grunts and groans. "The joy of the Lord is my strength." Amen! As my attitude changed, I began to strive to push and challenge myself while working out, not just survive. Instead of talking myself out of some new challenge, I was talking myself into them. (Again dear friends, that was NOT my doing!) It's a result of His Spirit fellow shipping with mine. Walking in the Spirit pushes aside the desires of the flesh, which would have been to stop or give up.

And this kind of fellowship is what the Lord desires throughout my day. He doesn't just want an hour with me; He wants to spend the day together! And so do I. Being in His presence changes me; it intoxicates me; it addicts me! He gives me the strength to daily die to my flesh and to walk in the Spirit. "Without me, you can do nothing."

Basking in His presence ~ Bekah

Water!

The last few days, I've been reading through all the wonderful books I picked up from the library. Instead of reading through one book and then moving on to another, I have this habit of reading through them all at once! The floor around my bed is covered with all of these different books. I'm sure if a stranger walked into my room, they'd think I was a health nut!

One thing I like to do when reading and carefully judging the content of these books is to look for common threads or ideas. Common things they all recommend doing or eating, and also things they all say to avoid when trying to lose weight. (Other than the obvious things like chips and cookies...) When I can look at 4 or 5 different authors and see that they all recommend a certain thing, it's probably true and a good idea to follow.

This past week, I've been reading about the benefits of drinking water. (And the consequences of not drinking adequate amounts.) Most of us know that water is good for you and we know that we should drink it, but I was reminded again of how important water really is. For example, did you know...
*Your body is about 60 percent water

*Your muscles are about 75 percent water

*Your brain is about 75 percent water

*Your blood is approximately 82 percent water

*Your bones are approximately 25 percent water

Water is important! An average-sized person requires about 3 quarts of water a day. (To determine your water needs, take your body weight in pounds and divide it by 2. This equals the amount of water in ounces that you need per day.) Seems like a lot, doesn't it? Thankfully, we consume about 1/3 of that amount through the foods we eat. For example, bananas are over 70% water, apples are 80%, and tomatoes are approximately 95% water. But, our food only supplies a small amount of what our body needs. So don't think you can get away with just eating foods with a high concentration of water!

By simply drinking adequate amounts of water, (not coffee, tea, juice, etc. WATER) people have been able to avoid (or dramatically reduce) the symptoms of arthritis, high blood pressure, ulcers, asthma, Alzheimer's disease, and more. As a benefit to us girls, drinking enough water gives you a smooth, glowing complexion! Want more benefits? How about...

*Your mind will function more clearly

*It will aid in the elimination of waste

*It will improve circulation

*And lots more!

Another benefit for those trying to lose weight is that it decreases your appetite and has a positive impact on your digestion. And, it's true! I've started drinking 8 to 16 oz. of water about 30 minutes before eating, and I can attest that I do feel more full and satisfied.

I'd love to continue, but I need to run my younger sister to the doctor. More later! ~Bekah

It's about time...

With all of the flooding and storms we've had here in Eastern Iowa, I haven't been able to spend as much time blogging. When we're able to have the computer turned on it's in high demand. :-)

Because I didn't weigh in until Sunday last week, I knew my weigh in this week might not show a weight loss. It's hard to drop a pound in 5 days! As I suspected, I didn't actually lose another pound, but I maintained my weight. I'm hoping that I'm gaining muscle weight as I'm exercising more, and muscle weighs more than fat, so sometimes the scale may show an actual weight gain (which makes my heart race a little!) but it's a good thing. My problem: I don't know whether I'm gaining muscle or not with our little bathroom scale. But I just keep pushing onward!

Another way to chart success is by inches lost. I noticed while in Colorado that certain clothes seemed loose on me, especially around my hips. Clothes that I'd bought within the last few weeks! So, that's encouraging. The scale is not my final answer!

I went to the library earlier this week and stocked up on some more nutrition books. I checked out the American Dietetic Association Nutrition Guide which is at least 800 pages long and also the Dummies Book of Nutrition and Health. I also found a book targeted to teens in regard to weightloss. (I'm curious to see what's out there for teens to read - what advice people give to them.) And I grabbed a few more books from Christian authors like Dr. Don Colbert and Jordan Rubin. I'm not whole-heartedly supporting and following either author, but I've enjoyed reading their thoughts and wisdom on weight loss and healthy living. Again, I'm praying that the Lord would give me His wisdom on how he wants me to live and move and have my being! My family kinda looked at me funny as I walked into the house with my arms full of books. Knowledge is power! I want to be educated.

Whoa! Time flies. I still have to exercise and weed the garden this afternoon, so I have to sign off.

Following Him ~ Bekah

Colorado!

I got home last night from an incredible trip to Colorado. I had been looking forward to this trip since Christmas! My very dear friend, Stephanie, and her awesome family made me feel right at home. In fact, I felt like I was visiting relatives!

We had a great week! The weather was simply gorgeous. We went on a 6 mile walk on Tuesday morning which felt great. I was so engrossed in our conversation that it didn't seem that far at all! It's not humid in CO like it is here - yuck! I had a rude awakening when we stepped out of the airport last night. :-)

I couldn't have asked for better meal service while gone from home! I was so blessed to be with like-minded friends. We made some delicious salsa and devoured an entire bowl of it in about 2 days...Good thing it's so healthy. Stephanie and I both get intense cravings for salads, so we had at least one a day along with yummy fruit, whole grains, lean meats, low-fat dairy products, and an occasional fruit smoothie. (Steph's sister, Ali, works at a smoothie shop called "Inta Juice". Those were the best smoothies I've ever had!) But, seeing this was vacation - we also made room for little splurges like s'mores, iced mochas, Reese's Pieces, etc.

I decided to hold my "weigh in day" this morning. I did great in the eating catagory this past week, and though we did get some exercise worked into our packed schedule, I certainly didn't want to sacrifice too much of our precious few days together to spend lots of time sweating. So, I just hoped that I was able to maintain my weight - I didn't think I'd done enough work to lose weight this week, and I certainly hoped I didn't gain weight while gone.

I was pleasantly thrilled ( and rather shocked!) when I got on the scale this morning and saw that I'd lost yet another pound. My first response was, "WHAT?!? No way! I lost weight on vacation? Get me on the fastest plane back to CO!". *smile* I still haven't quite figured out how that happened, but I'm super excited about it for 2 reasons. The first being that I was able to stick to my plan even when I was gone from home. (Thank you, Lund family! You made it easy for me.) I had decided before leaving that my focus would be on our relationship this week - where it should be, not on the scale. It feels great to have lost weight while not even trying very hard. (I know that is a rare thing!)

The 2nd reason I'm so excited, is because that pushs my total weight loss up to 70 pounds. (That means I've lost 29% of my body weight. Wow.) It's been a year since the Lord opened my eyes to my sin (sometime during June 2007) and by His grace I've been able to shed 70 pounds so far. That blows me away! He's been so faithful to provide strength in my weakness.

I'll post more thoughts in a little bit. I'm needing an afternoon nap today!

Joyfully ~ Bekah

More recent photo...

Yesterday was so nice and sunny, and I asked one of my sisters to take a more recent picture of me that I could post on here. We fought the strong breeze, shadows from branches, and my inability to "just smile!" on command, and this is the best we could come up with. :-) Not going to win an award, but you get the idea.

I had time to do a little shopping yesterday afternoon, and I'm still learning how to find my size now. My eyes still haven't adjusted yet to where I can hold something up and say, "Yeah, that should fit." without looking at the size. And, I get to search for things in a whole new section of the store, as I'm finally out of the "Plus Size" section. (And I'm never going back!)

So, while shopping for bargains at Goodwill and Stuff Etc., I'd grab something off the rack, look at the tag and check the size, put it back on the rack, and then think, "Oh, wait! I'm wearing a Large now, aren't I? That actually might fit!". (Well, I wear a Large in most stores, but it kind of depends on the brand name. Last night, I had to laugh as I sported a pajama outfit I'd gotten at Target that was labeled Large (didn't have time to try it on) but it wasn't quite large enough for me. My family got a kick out of it! You all know what spandex looks like, right? *giggle* )

I haven't begun packing yet, and I've got a million things to do before leaving later this afternoon, so this is going to be a short and sweet post. I may be able to post a little something while I'm in CO, but if not - I'll write a complete report when I get back!

Looking unto Jesus ~ Bekah