Part 4

*I left off at the beginning of my trip to Singapore in September of 2007. I had lost 12 pounds before leaving!*
So, I left for Singapore for 3 weeks. I was really curious to see if I felt any different having lost weight. I did notice that some of my clothes seemed to feel a little bigger. I'm not sure I ever remember that happening before! As I expected, we did a lot more walking than I usually do at home, (everything is in walking distance there; nothing is here!) and I was able to keep up better than the year before. (I was still quite pathetic, but it was better.) And though I struggled with jetlag the first few days and our schedule often did not allow for much sleep, I remember feeling like I had more energy. I was excited, because I could see how I felt so much better and only after losing 12 pounds. What would I feel like after losing even more?

While we were in Singapore, I did not worry about what I ate, like I had at home, but I did try and stop when I felt satisfied. (Didn't always work, but I tried.) They have wonderful, fresh fruit over there - many kinds that we can't get here, so I enjoyed tasting all the new kinds of fruit. I fell in love with fresh pineapple! Chrissy and I were trying to figure out how to smuggle some home in our suitcases. :-)

At that time, I was just beginning to "re-train" my taste buds. (It was a big deal for me to be able to eat fresh veggies -like carrots and celery- without some kind of dip or dressing!) I remember having a conversation in our room one day, and I was remarking how I was in the mood for something sweet - preferably something with chocolate. (I am chocolate's biggest fan!) We didn't really have anything sweet up in our room, but Elyssa replied that she thought they might have some nuts downstairs in the kitchen, and I just looked at her as if to say, "Yeah, so what?". She went on to say, "Nuts are naturally sweet, you know. Especially almonds. And they're much better for you!" . I loudly and emphatically protested that nuts are NOT sweet - chocolate is sweet - and I didn't really care about what was healthier at that time. But, I went down to the kitchen to see what I could find.
I've totally changed my opinion on the matter of nuts since then. I love them! Raw almonds happen to be my favorite. (And, I've apologized to Elyssa for giving her such a hard time. She was right!)


So while I didn't see any huge changes in my physical appearance, those 12 pounds did make a difference. When I got home, I was really tired, and the following 2 or 3 weeks was spent re-adjusting to our time zone and my family's schedule. I didn't do a lot of exercising during that time, maybe once or twice a week and nothing too difficult. My eating habits had gone back to normal, too. I had missed my American food so much! :-)


I hadn't forgotten about losing weight, though. I was just so exhausted! About 3 weeks after I got back, the Lord kept bringing that back to the forefront of my thoughts, and I knew I needed to get on track again. The more I began to pray about it, the more I began to see that the Lord had been preparing me, opening my eyes and giving me a glimpse of what it would be like to walk in victory. It was time. Time to lose not just 20 or 30 pounds. Time to lose whatever amount to be at a healthy weight level. (I say "whatever amount" because at the time I honestly didn't know what a healthy weight was for my height and build. )


I knew the challenge would be tough. Hard. Seemingly unbearable at times. I didn't begin my journey thinking this was going to be a cake-walk. And I didn't think it would only take me a few months to accompish my goal. My expectations were realistic. I was well aware that this was going to be the hardest thing I had ever done before.

This was not just about losing weight. It wasn't simply about me wanting to improve my appearance. It wasn't even totally about wanting to improve my health. Those goals are good, but I knew they couldn't be my #1 goal, because those things are fleeting. They won't last! Focusing on those goals wouldn't give me the strength to resist the temptations that I knew would come my way. I had to have a bigger goal; a goal that was worthy of totally changing my lifestyle and one that would have lasting, enduring rewards.

In a nutshell, my goal is to glorify God in and through my body and to live in victory over my flesh, especially in the area of food. I want to "beat my body into submission", and be ready and prepared for whatever He calls me to do without having to wonder if I'm physically able. I want to eat healthy food, realizing that it is fuel for my body and I will perform the tasks God gives me much more effectively when I eat the foods He created my body to need, not those my flesh wants.


After I established what my goals would be, I began to seriously pray and seek the Lord for wisdom. I talked with my mom, and we came up with some specific goals for eating and exercising. They were:
-to exercise for at least 30 minutes 5 days a week
-drink lots of water, at least 8 cups a day
-incorperate more fruits and vegetables into my diet while cutting out sweets and fats
-stay accountable with weekly weigh-ins

I typed up a sheet that listed my goals at the top and had lines to record my weight each week. I'm currently working on my 3rd sheet. For each sheet, I've also made a weight goal. My very first (recorded) weight goal began on October 25th- 2007, and it was my goal to weigh 200lbs by January 1st. After coming back from Singapore and having a few weeks of adujusting to life again, I weighed in at 229lbs. That meant, my goal was to lose 29lbs in 11 weeks. That's a lot! It seemed reasonable to me at the time, and I wanted to make a goal that I didn't really think I could accomplish so that I would be more motivated to push onward and trust Jesus to give me His strength, but about week 7 I was beginning to see that I was a little too ambitious. :-) (I now understand and set more reasonable, yet still challenging goals. My current goal is to weigh 170lbs by the end of June, so I'm right on schedule.)

This has certainly been an exciting journey, and the Lord has taught me so much. I hope to share some snippets from my journal early on and bring you all totally up to date in the next post.

Before I finish, I have to write about how the Lord encouraged me today. I was home alone with Bethany (my 2 year old soon-to-be-adopted sister) and I was cleaning up the kitchen while she was at the table coloring a great masterpiece. As I was organizing things in our bread box, I happened upon the yummy banana bread Rachel had taken out of the freezer yesterday, and it sounded really good. But, I had eaten lunch only an hour previously, and I wasn't hungry - but it still sounded good! I rather emphatically slammed the lid shut, and told myself I wasn't going to eat any. I decided to focus on the Lord, and I glanced around the kitchen at those lovely Scriptures I had put up on the cupboards and began quoting them outloud. Bethany looked at me kind of funny, and said, (as she only can say it) "Whachu talkin 'bout?". I smiled and said I was reading my verses, and kept going until I had quoted them all. As I finished, I looked over at Bethany to make sure her hands weren't getting too busy, and she smiled at me and loudly proclaimed, "AMEN!". :-) And you know what? I still haven't touched that bread...

Be of good cheer! ~Bekah